May marks Mental Health Awareness month. Prioritizing your mental health is so important, and many times, Black and Brown folks, especially, struggle to do this. Whether it is not being honest about struggles of depression, anxiety, doubt, or self-esteem or not being able to focus for long periods of time, sudden changes in your mood, issues with your digestive tract, all of these things are ways that our bodies tell us what it needs from us. Make this mental health awareness month about choosing YOU by prioritizing self-care and wellness.
A few days ago, I found out that I failed another bar exam. Almost a year out of law school and I’m still struggling to get over the next hurdle. I have watched my peers pass and be able to practice. I have also watched people who I'd been on the journey with completely isolate me, and even if it wasn't intentional, it hurt. I have heard the comments from peers, coworkers, and strangers alike about their thoughts on people who fail the bar exam. I work hard to not internalize it.
It's been a year of many victories, but also so many lessons, financial instability, and times where I felt alone and isolated, because of the journey I am on. I also have received an outpour of support and encouragement from friends, family, and classmates from over the years that literally caused me to weep. People spoke life into me when I did not feel optimistic, when I felt like a failure, and I was ashamed that this was my story and my experience. I also learned that I was not alone in this experience, which was so comforting. Take a look at some of the many encouraging words that friends and family left me and I hope that they bless you like they did me.
I don't know about you, but I am an overthinker. I overthink everything. Whether it's how I am portraying myself in the world and/or via social media. Whether its comments or experiences that I have heard and lived through or how sharing my truth will affect those who are also a part of those experiences and stories. Whether I am really delusional to believe that I can do what I feel I was called and chosen, by God, to do.
I spent the weekend struggling to get out of bed, sleeping too much, and wondering if law or any of this, writing, being a truth teller, and trying to lead my life with integrity... if it is what I’m really supposed to be doing. Then I thought about all the things (well I was reminded by my mommy and my friends) that I’d made it through all of my hardest moments to date, but especially, in the past year alone, and it’s worth giving myself some grace.
This month, I am loving on myself a little harder. I am believing bigger and I am staying open to new opportunities and connections that this month (and the next few months) have to offer me and I'm encouraging you to join me. There are two #radicalreadz that I am reading this month, one is my sister, Najma's, 31-Day Devotional, you can purchase it on amazon or here on her website! The second is, Sarah Jakes Roberts', Power Moves, also available wherever you purchase books. Grab your books, take some deep breaths, and let's enter this month more determined and more disciplined than we've been (ever) or in a while. I am excited to grow and heal and build community with all of you.
Radical Reflections
It wouldn't be a blog post if I did not give us some language to reflect on, homework even, if you will.
Here are the definitions of the words "resilience" and "perseverance."
Resilience is defined as "the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress or an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change."
Perseverance is defined as "continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition or the action or condition or an instance of persevering or being steadfast."
I want you to reflect on a time over the past year where you have been resilient. I want you to think about a time over the past year where you have had no choice but to persevere. How did you feel? What were some of the victories you experienced in the midst of all the things you went through? What were some lessons (especially the tough ones) that you learned? How can you use those experiences to catapult you into your NEXT?
That was a lot, so take a few moments to breathe deeply.
Love y'all, mean it.
If you haven't already, grab a copy of my book, Radical Self-Love: A Self-Love Workbook, where I share more thoughts, reflections, and tools on how we can not only love ourselves fully and wholly, but also transform our communities by doing so. Please leave a review over on Amazon and share how this book has helped you on your self-love journey.