“Until you do right by me, everything you think about is going to crumble.”
We all have a purpose. A gift. A divine responsibility. I believe that it is encoded in our DNA from the time we take form in our mother’s womb and we carry it with us as we grow through life.
This calling will make itself known through the things we are passionate about at an early age. Whether it’s helping people, teaching, ministering, or creating… we all have something that we are supposed to sow into the soil of our lives. And we plant those seeds, to reap a life filled with joy and a deeply profound sense of self.
But what happens when we ignore it? When we doubt what our purpose is supposed to be? When we are told that what God has given us is a waste of time or isn’t a viable career?
What do you do when you have reached the age of adulthood and you are plagued with the responsibilities that come with being an adult? The career fields that provide us shelter and food and pay the bills aren’t what God intended for us to do.
At what point do we ignore the feeling that something is missing? Nothing seems to fill the gaping hole in our lives. We have the family, the house, the cars, the career, the money… yet our spirit thirsts for something that we can’t quite put our fingers on. Our everyday lives become chained to a spirit of longing that will begin to affect different areas of our life. All because we allowed societal pressures to steer us away from our calling.
I am learning that when you have a God-given gift, a purpose, you should walk in it. Embrace it. Or it will haunt everything you touch that is outside of your scope of divine responsibility. For years, I have searched for something to attach meaning to my life. From school to jobs, to businesses. I wanted something that would give me a sense of identity and dignity. A sense of pride. And for so long, I bounced from idea to idea only for me to
find myself only being half fulfilled and lacking on a deeper spiritual level. Nothing satisfied me. I spent so many years chasing something that was right in front of me the entire time. My writing gave me everything that I was searching for.
Honestly, when you tell people that you want to be a writer for a living, you’re often met with a look of doubt. Like writing isn’t a “real” job. It’s merely looked at as a hobby. Something that you do in your spare time that may or may not bring in SOME income, but it isn’t something that you can do for a living. Unfortunately, I believed the criticism. Internalized that belief that this desire to be a full-time writer was a fool’s dream and I’ve wasted my prime years on childhood, “what do you wanna be when you grow up”, foolishness.
So I put my passion, my calling, on the backburner. I worked meaningless jobs and chose to work towards a degree that I had some interest in, but not enough for me to see exactly what I could do with it upon graduation. I’d allowed this world’s disbelief and lack of respect for my art form to drive a wedge between me and what I loved doing the most. The strife was more than I ever could have imagined. I was hurting for what my true purpose was since I was made to believe that writing wasn’t it.
Despite that though, my pen was enticing me to not give up on my dreams. So much so, in fact, that I began to have dreams about writing and performing and seeing that what I envisioned for myself was indeed possible. In my subconscious, I was already successful. Not only was I a full-time writer, but I was also a lucrative one. God began to place people in my life that were doing exactly what I wanted to do. Those same people encouraged me to step out on faith and take my calling seriously. I began to receive opportunities that would allow me to showcase my talents. I was given insight into all the ways that writing impacts the very world we live in and that my voice was necessary. I was given stories to tell. I was given books to write and publish. I was given the path to making a way when all the naysayers and doubters said it was impossible. Though I got my start in writing as a poet, my dreams revealed to me that I was capable of becoming a songwriter, a scriptwriter, a journalist, or a copywriter… the possibilities placed before me was endless and I never saw just how far some paper and a pen could take me because I allowed others to steer me away from what God planted in my spirit to do.
To answer this calling has been daunting and the journey has not been easy. Especially when it was crafted just for me so those around me may not fully understand. But as the saying goes, your calling doesn’t make sense to others cause it wasn’t a conference call. It is only for you to understand. So lean on your faith and take the first step. Choose your passion and your purpose. Whatever that looks like for you. There’s no guarantee that the road will be easy and smooth sailing the whole way through but if you stay dedicated to what brings you joy and that sense of pride, I believe the freedom that comes out of it will be worth it. So walk in your purpose. Do not let anyway else decide what that is for you. Not when God has already ordained it to be.
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